Home Visit(s)

On Sunday afternoon, I slumped in a chair and told Jeff we needed to postpone the home visit. We were both exhausted. We had already admitted defeat on the "easy to install" cork floors. The counter tops wouldn't be in. The sinks, faucets, appliances, plumbing fixtures, etc wouldn't be in. And I had just spent the last 2 hours cleaning the dining room. We still had the play room, living room, bedroom, Lillian's room and 2 bathrooms left to clean. At 2 hours each, there just was not enough time to get ready for the home visit. Fortunately Jeff talked me off the ledge and busied himself with the playroom. I got a 2nd...or 3rd...or 20th wind and went to work on our bedroom. By the time our heads hit the pillows that night, we were nearly ready.

Which brings me to today. The good news is we completed the home visit. The great news is that our counselor has spent the last 6 years remodeling every surface of her own home and could easily relate to our partial state of completion. The excellent news is that we got BOTH home visits done today. Wooohoooo! Generally they do 2 home visits because it takes about 4 hours to gather all the information for the profile. But because much of our info hasn't changed from last time, we could just fill in any gaps from the past couple of years. Here's a partial list of what we discussed:

• Our childhood experience
• A typical day in our house
• A typical weekend
• What we like to do as a couple
• What we appreciate about each other
• Religion
• Values
• Parenting philosophy
• Discipline strategy
• Financial situation
• Neighborhood
• Detailed description of our home and property
• Jobs including travel and daily schedule
  

Now you can see why it takes 4 hours! Adoption is certainly not an overnight decision. It requires a lot of soul searching preparation. If only all parents had to spend this kind of time thinking about how they would parent...

The final discussion today was also the screening tool. Adoptive families outline their openness to everything from race to gender to exposure to a variety of drugs and alcohol. This list is then cross referenced to potential birthfamilies. Only birthfamilies who match our preferences will receive our letter and profile.

With both home visits completed, that just leaves our individual meetings. We have scheduled those for October 8th (Lori) and 9th (Jeff). Then we wait for our counselor to complete the profile before we will officially be in the pool! I can't believe it's moving so quickly. By the end of the month, we will likely be in the pool. And then the nerve racking wait really begins.

Adoption is a bitter sweet process. Our joy comes from someone else's pain. Lately I've imagined a young woman distraught to discover that she is pregnant. And she is making this incredible decision on what to do next. I pray that somehow she finds out about open adoption. I pray she is brave enough to choose adoption. I pray God brings us together.